AS ONESELF

The theme of the liturgy of the Word this Sunday is love; a love that has three directions: upwards (and it is love for God), characterized by totality («With all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength»); towards the other (love for your neighbour), characterized by equality («You shall love your neighbour as yourself»); towards the centre («As yourself»). And it is this centre, if you look closely, that keeps the two directions harmoniously united, the vertical and the horizontal (God and man). But what does it mean to love oneself? Simple, it means to desire one’s own growth and maturity and then to give it as a gift to God and to one’s neighbour in a rich and fruitful edition of oneself. In this process it is necessary first of all to love ourselves on a physical level, that is, to take care of ourselves. This happens if we learn to welcome ourselves every morning as a gift from the Father, a gift that has, I dare say, a sacramentality in our body (so that the body is not an encumbrance but is a sign that manifests God). To love ourselves also on a psychological level, trying to find our inner balance, our emotional serenity, thus overcoming immaturity, closed in on oneself, and selfishness, that generate so much discomfort in the family, and in our world. To love ourselves on a spiritual level, developing our mind on the level of will (so as not to fall prey to our emotions that sometimes lead us to be violent and vindictive), and also nourishing the mind culturally. Here, the more we manage to love ourselves on the level of physical, psychological and intellectual care, the more we give a solid, true and unrepentant love. Self-love, however, does not manifest itself so easily (we must not be naive). We need to overcome two obstacles in particular: narcissism and egocentrism. Sociology asks: what kind of personality is dominant nowadays? If, at the beginning of the 1900s the hysterical personality emerged, the authoritarian one took over. In the post-war period, we had instead the depressed personality and, today, the narcissistic one. Therefore, it is important to “look good”, always. But what is the narcissist’s weak point. Basically, he does not allow himself to be loved. But those who do not respond to love annihilate themselves and annihilate others (we all remember the myth of Narcissus and Echo). Only love that is given makes both the beloved and the lover exist in time. Egocentrism, on the other hand, means that one does not know or does not want to accept the other’s point of view. We have two types of egocentric people: there is the strong egocentric who imposes himself on others with peremptory tones and therefore violent actions and the weak egocentric who sometimes assumes defensive positions to avoid shocks and to dampen problems. Narcissism and egocentrism are two pathologies that dehumanize love, generating hatred, indifference and functionalism; that is, you are only worthwhile because you are useful. Let us not be surprised by the many conflagrations that are setting the world on fire. Let us keep alive the word of Jesus and make our own what a thinker wrote: «Every day I am more convinced that the waste of our existence lies in the love that we have not given. The love that we give is the only wealth that we will keep for eternity».

Commentary by b. Sandro Carotta, osb
Abbazia di Praglia (Italy)

Translation by f. Mark Hargreaves,
Prinknash Abbey