CORRECT, NOT HURT

Today’s Gospel passage touches one of the most crucial points of Christian life: fraternal correction. It is a fact: those who are born again in Christ, through baptism, also commit evil and therefore need to be admonished, exhorted, corrected. Fraternal correction, however, is a great art and certainly cannot be improvised. Often – and it may seem like a paradox – we don’t have the courage to correct. The reason is simple: we don’t love our brothers and sisters
sisters enough—because, if we did, we would always seek the good of the neighbour, and feel responsible for his growth. But how to exercise Christian correction? Here’s the thing. Matthew offers us some very concrete and practical attitudes that we can live in the family, in community, and where life calls us to interact with others. When my neighbour commits a fault, the first thing to do is look for him and talk to him. We must not interrupt communication because of anger, or resentment over the violence we may have suffered; there need not be the so-called “affective retreat”, as psychology teaches us, otherwise the brother or sister remains in negative loneliness. However, speaking does not mean reproaching; through dialogue they must look together for the reasons for incorrect behaviour. If this has no no effect, try again. In a word, you need not get discouraged, but persevere, perhaps with the help of other people. Hence the need for mediation. If this attempt also fails, it is necessary to inform the community (talk about it in the family). This informing is not so much to disclose the other person’s faults, but an occasion for the community itself to take charge of the difficult situation that a brother or sister is going through. Everyone is called to be responsible for their neighbour. Matthew, according to our passage, says that the person in question does not listen to the community then that brother or sister are considered pagans or are excluded from the community itself. Be careful though: this is merely a temporary exclusion in view of repentance; it is a therapeutic stance; definitely not a permanent exclusion. To exclude the brother or sister is always to mutilate the body of Christ. But there are also difficult situations in which every possible attempt to recover the wreck is made, without effect. What to do? Matthew then invites to prayer. And why exactly prayer? Simple: a community that prays recognizes one important thing; that Jesus is Lord, that is, that Jesus is the guardian and shepherd of each brother or sister, and that the community as a whole and the life of each belongs to him. Not only that: prayer recognizes that Jesus is here, and makes history with us. One last aspect, which is obvious but which needs to be remembered: whoever corrects must also be corrected. There is one obstacle though: the pride that always makes us rebel at even the slightest observation. But if we free ourselves from pride and enter the dynamism of love, we will make progress in good and so will our families and communities.

Commentary by b. Sandro Carotta, osb
Abbazia di Santa Maria – Praglia (Italy)

Translation by f. Mark Hargreaves,
Prinknash Abbey